There is one thing I have never understood about some people, and that is the way they desperately cling to the victim mentality. I’m not talking about people who have been through traumatic life events, who for the most part I find quite brave and proactive in trying to change their lives for the better.
I’m talking about people who believe that everything bad that happens in their life is evidence they are a passive victim and that the universe and everyone in it is out to get them. So they hide away and moan incessantly about all the negative things they feel and see and do nothing to change them.
I came to the realisation long ago, that I was the master of my own destiny and my life is a result of what I put into it. If I don’t like something, then perhaps I need to change it to get a different result. I don’t think that is exactly rocket science.
I have a few acquaintances that fall into this victim mentality. One in particular bemoans the fact she has few friends, but doesn’t go out to make friends and flatly refuses to approach new people as she doesn’t want to get rejected. I have tried all sorts of suggestions such as joining evening classes, trying a new hobby, getting out the house, getting a new job etc. all of my ideas are firmly rebutted.
It’s a self fulfilling prophecy, she makes no effort to make new friends, actively refuses to try then sees the resulting lack of friends as proof she is right. It is like a badge of honour, look at me I’m a victim of life please shower me in pity.
Maybe I’m being a little bit harsh, but isn’t it common sense that in order to reap a harvest you have to first plough the land and sow the seeds? We all have times when we feel sorry for ourselves, but in order to grow and become better people we need to accept responsibility for our lives and embrace change.